Understanding Emotional Trauma
This post explores the often-overlooked reality of emotional trauma—what it is, how it shows up in everyday life, and why both big and small traumas are valid. By understanding the hidden wounds we carry, women can begin to recognize their pain, reclaim their worth, and take the first step toward healing.
Merry Lee, RN
5/14/20252 min read
What if the pain you’ve been quietly carrying isn’t “just in your head”—but a sign of emotional trauma you never knew you had?
When we hear the word trauma, we often picture dramatic, life-threatening events—like accidents, abuse, or war. But emotional trauma isn’t always loud or obvious. Sometimes, it’s silent. It builds slowly, hidden in everyday experiences that are painful, overwhelming, or invalidating. Emotional trauma is what happens inside of you—not just what happens to you.
Trauma can take many forms, and it doesn’t always leave visible scars. You might have faced emotional neglect, constant criticism, betrayal by someone you trusted, or the loss of something deeply important to you. These experiences can chip away at your sense of safety and self-worth over time. Even traumas that no one else sees—the unspoken grief, the apology you never got, the love you longed for but never received—can be deeply damaging.
That’s why it’s important to stop minimizing your pain. If something still affects your emotions, relationships, or daily life, it matters. You don’t need a dramatic story to justify your struggle. Your trauma is valid—and your healing is worth pursuing.
Psychologists often talk about Big “T” trauma and Little “t” trauma to help explain the wide range of emotional wounds people experience:
Big “T” trauma involves events that are shocking and life-altering—like assault, serious accidents, natural disasters, or witnessing violence. These events often lead to intense fear, helplessness, and conditions like PTSD.
Little “t” trauma includes experiences that don’t threaten physical survival but still cause emotional harm. These might be repeated childhood shaming, being emotionally neglected, going through a painful breakup, or feeling unseen and unloved.
While society tends to recognize Big “T” traumas more easily, the truth is that Little “t” traumas—especially when repeated or ignored—can quietly shape your inner world, beliefs, and behavior in equally profound ways.
You are not weak for being affected. You are human.
Healing begins with understanding what hurt you, giving yourself permission to feel it, and taking brave steps toward reclaiming your peace. Whether your trauma came like a storm or grew quietly over time, you deserve to rise from the wreckage. One step at a time.